Alright It's super easy if you fuck it up just uninstall everything and start again.
Install Arma 2
Install Arma 2 OA
Install DZ Launcher https://t.co/dqc1R6DYOv
Got to The mods tab and Install Dayz Epoch and Namalsk
That should be all you have to do, once done put the server IP under name in the Dayz launcher and you'll be able to find the server.
Make sure under setting in the DZ Launcher you have your mod path set to your mods folder, and your Arma 2 path set to your arma 2 steam Directory folder, not your ARMA 2 OA.
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Alternative step 4 for slow learners.
Put the server IP into the search, try to connect to it and get prompted with ''You do not have the mods for this mission/server, would you like to install them?'' click yes. It gets you the right ones immediately.